Happy Third Birthday to This Newsletter...

And the continuation of cursing in light of Puritan trolls.

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PLEASE COME AND SEE ME ON MY ONLY PNW APPEARANCE! I don’t know anyone in Seattle. LOL!

I’ll be interviewed by Lauren Ko, author of Pieometry.

RSVP - Williams-Sonoma University Village | Seattle, WA | April 15, 2023 | 12PM

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March 2023 marks the third year I’ve been writing this newsletter. Every Tuesday at 6AM. My first entry was titled Puerto Rican Stories in the Time of Covid.

As the social media landscape changes, I guess the newsletter must change as well. With Instagram deciding they’re not longer paying creators for reels as we face the ban of TikTok at the hands of Zuckerfuck finding time between robotic eye blinks to lobby against the clock app, they know they’ll no longer have any competition. Why should they pay the creators that carry their app?

But, that’s cool. Because I have this newsletter. I will figure out how to use iMovie (had to download that last week) and create videos that are similar to Reels. This will take time, of course. In the meantime, I hope you’re patient as I try and find new footing. With that being said…

The newsletter has been sitting at the same subscriber number for a good long while. I wish it could grow more. And I’m not talking about more paid subscribers (although that would be hella nice, duh). I’m talking about all subscribers in general. I’d love to be able to get to 10,000 subscribers by the end of 2023. A lofty goal since it currently sits at 6,000.

It’s dangerous to compare ourselves to our colleagues. Especially when there is absolutely no comparison. A hard lesson I learned during my book tour when I had the audacity to try and compare my experiences with Eric Kim. I mean, could I even be as handsome? I wanted what Eric had and I’m not Eric, so I didn’t get what Eric had and I was a tantruming mess. The same with this newsletter.

When I think of how Alicia Kennedy’s newsletter grows, I also am not thinking of the insane variety and academic work she puts into her newsletter. I mostly just babble (like right now), or deep dive into topics no one really cares about; thrifty ice cream. Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? And worse, to people who are on a level that is not even within our grasp? Clearly I’m delusional, but have good taste, in that I’m comparing myself to those two. Have you ever seen either of them have an altercation or melt down online? Of course not! That seems to be my specialty.

Which is why I would love to grow and do more, but, y’all…I just don’t see it in the cards for me. Much like Marc Maron said, “I don’t have a demographic, I have a disposition.”

cbsmornings

A post shared by CBS Mornings (@cbsmornings)

A friend and colleague of mine, who is well known in the industry, told me I should apply for an editorial job at one of the food publications. I told her there was no point, “everyone knows about me.” The stench of insubordination has been following me since long before I became a public figure. To get her to shut up, I did it anyway. I feel like I’m always telling her “no,” so I wanted to throw her a bone and kind of prove a point. She said “you’d be perfect for that job.” I know! I don’t not apply for these jobs because I don’t think I can do them. I can. I don’t not apply for these jobs because I think they’re hard. They’re not. It’s because I know that in those types of environments, creativity is only rewarded if it can be monetized. You have to be a creative person that’s willing to exist as a corporate cog. Very few people can do this. That’s not an artists specialty and true creative personalities are rarely rewarded or celebrated.

I don’t speak in a passive tone, although I’ve been practicing that shit with my therapist for years. “May I invite you to dialogue?” And more importantly, how I write is how I speak. Which brings me to…The Cursing.

When one brave privileged soul left an unwarranted comment on my IG the other day saying, “I didn’t care for the foul language in the book. Just seems like it doesn’t belong in a cookbook.”

Your first mistake was thinking I gave a shit. Your second was thinking that this cookbook was just a cookbook. Your third mistake was blocking me, but then unblocking me to tell me my response (“You’ve just earned yourself a fucking pinned comment”) was “classless.” It didn’t end there. This commenter has given two other commenters the juice to share that they too did not like the cursing!

“Love the cookbook (found you in the Sporkful). I bought a copy and also checked it out from the local library. The cursing was a bit of a surprise since it often conveys disrespect. I know the comments are full of support, so I’m obviously in the minority in this thought pattern.”

She found me on The Sporkful. Now this seemed extremely confusing because I knew that I had cursed on that podcast and host Dan Pashman was kind enough to publicly confirm via IG stories! If you heard me on a podcast, where I cursed in conversation, and then you followed me on social media and checked it out of the library and then bought my book…what did you expect? And who is the cursing disrespectful to if it’s not directed towards you?

This doesn’t mean I don’t forget about my faithful and supportive community. I love some of y’all, truly. And just like I said in my Elle interview, “my social media following is literally the reason why I’m here. They’re the ones who have sustained me emotionally; they’re the ones who have supported me financially more than any brand or company in the industry has.”

Thank you so much for being here.

I know that oftentimes words can convey emotion. At the end of the day, we’re still reading words through our own experiences and translating via that lense. I could write, “I just wanted you to help me!” and if we were standing in front of each other, that sentence could be received very differently if I yelled it with fierce anger, or said it with teary sadness. I deal with this everyday with Mami. My mother and I read and process the same words very differently.

I feel like most people are so used to phony attitudes - or people have to be so phony these days - that a person’s persona can shift hour by hour throughout the day! That has to be absolutely exhausting.

Where as, I’m me…everyday all day.

And that’s honestly very freeing.

But, it’s also very isolating.

All of this is what prevents me from growing.