Moving on...

Or, something to that effect.

Above Image: Oysters in Puerto Rico

I want a network television show. This is the first time I’ve said that outloud.

I’m not gonna lie, it hurt my feelings. It hurt my feelings on Friday when I reshared the podcast episode of Alicia Kennedy’s interview of Tunde Wey. Tunde - who has spoken about his experience getting caught in the middle of Nigeria’s most recent chaos - is one of the most prolific creators that I know. But, my Instagram insights showed that ZERO out of 800 had clicked on the link, ZERO had clicked on either profiles.

However, my next Instagram story was a photo of my visit to a 100-year-old Mochi shop in Fresno, California and 50 out of 800 had clicked on the geotag of where the photo was taken from. I don’t feel like anyone is listening anymore…just surface scraping for shit.

I guess I already know that between the one word commands “recipe?” and the number of people clicking the geotag on where to find the mochi shop…y’all are just here for the food. Right? In that though lies something else. It’s this need to consume and regurgitate. Some people just want to know where-is-that-place-that-you-went-to-on-Instagram-so-that-they-can-go-to-that-place-and-post-it-on-their-Instagram. This obsession to consume. And I know I’m not the only one feeling like this lately, because my colleague and fellow Puerto Rican Reina Gascón-López from The Sofrito Project recently posted on her feed about this very topic.

thesofritoproject

A post shared by @thesofritoproject

“A simple PSA: entitlement aimed towards content creators is getting out of hand. 🧐 It doesn’t show up often (I’m truly thankful for the majority of you who don’t do this) but lately, I noticed that it’s been ramping up. I’m certain it’s due to how everything has mostly been a collective dumpster fire for many of us and people are simply lashing out. But let’s establish a few boundaries for those who find it necessary to type out “recipe?” and hit send before thinking of what that really means to me…”

With a following of 23K (Instagram has awarded me with 1,000 new followers since I stopped posting on my feed), you’d think that this platform gifted to me would be a dream. Honestly, it feels more like 22K bots just trying to steal your shit.

It doesn’t feel like Instagram is my platform anymore. I’m over it. I’ve only been able to corral 10% of my followers over to YouTube and 20% over to my newsletter. A lot of these names mostly consisting of names I remember from when I first started out. Thank you so much to those who supported me and continue to support me.

And although some people think that social media can be this cold abyss, it can also be this intimate thing between you and your regular followers. When I set the boundary that I wasn’t going to post to my Instagram feed anymore, I was basically saying, “Mentally, I’m out.” I still post on my stories to attempt to corral folks over to the newsletter and I’ll have to return once the marketing bumps up for the book. But, I’m getting pretty damn close to not posting on my stories anymore either. And when I stop posting on my stories…physically, I’m out. Once I’m out…there’s no coming back. I’ve always been like that.

Because if it’s hard to get people to cross platforms, are they really there for you? Although I’m known for talking shit, I personally felt like I also supported a lot of folks and tried to help them grow. And I didn’t feel a lot of that support back. I actually felt cancelled by a few that I once supported, even monetarily. “But, it’s never going to work if you’re expecting something in return,” or is that something we tell ourselves to silence the disappointment we have because most people like to think they got to where they are without standing on the shoulders of someone else?

I follow Chris Corsini on Instagram and HE READ ME. He talked about shit I hadn’t even mentioned to anymore yet.

chriscorsini

A post shared by @chriscorsini

I want a television show. This is the first time I’ve said that outloud. I’d like to have a NETFLIX (let’s be real, I’ll take a PBS, Hulu, Foot Network, Cooking, Travel Channel, TasteMade) television show component to the Diasporican book. I want to highlight the Puerto Rican restaurants in California and all over the country. This is something I’ve talked about, but was afraid to put it out in the universe because mafuckas be stealing your ideas and this idea has never been done. And I want to do it with Rafi Ruiz, who I’ll mention later on. I want to start with the Puerto Rican restaurants and chefs in California and end with Casa Adela in New York. This will show how different Puerto Rican food is from place to place and how the diaspora evolves because of regional necessity.

I staved off doing video for so long, but I realize it’s the next step in my career. Is the television world ready for a salty, fat, brown, woman curmudgeon? Nope. But, the world is definitely ready to see Puerto Rican food throughout the diaspora in a light that doesn’t revolve around a white gatekeeper only visiting the San Juan area. And they deserve to have it come from me. And possibly Mami. And doing video isn’t as easy as just “grab a camera and shoot,” and anyone who says so is a Robespierre. I don’t have the bandwidth to learn about camera equipment and boom microphones and teach myself how to shoot and how to edit. I don’t want to. I can’t even fucking add music to my damn YouTube videos, which no one watches. I need the editing and shooting skills of a videographer and director. And I need the money and the instant platform of a network.

Doing it yourself is something I’ve done…forever. I’m tired of patching up pieces and scraps in order to “make it work.” It’s that time in my life when I’m willing to pay a videographer to achieve what I envision. When I go to Puerto Rico in December, I’m working with Rafi Ruiz who is the creator and director of EAT DRINK SHARE PUERTO RICO, one of the most beautiful series programs I’ve ever seen in my life. We’re gonna work on a few sizzle reels and see what happens.

Because this shit of me recording myself in my home kitchen…ain’t working. If I had a home kitchen like Pati Jinich or Ina Garten, this would be a different conversation. Two people I’d love to work with, by the way.

All of the work I’ve done up until now was for the book. Funnily enough, all of the work I’m talking about now is still for the book! And honestly, I don’t have any money left from my advance. Between my photographer, the stylist and what they took in taxes…I’m tapped. The work with Rafi? I’m charging this shit to the game. That’s future illyanna’s problem.

So, does anyone know (or know someone who does know) how the food television world works?

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If anyone of Mami’s Maniacs would like to send trinkets, Starbucks gift cards or nail polish:

Mami Maisonet
5960 S Land Park #222
Sacramento, CA 95822

If you want to contribute to this artist in residence, mami’s f’ing expensive ass burgers or Dollar Tree visits:

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